He Hurt Me and I Hate Him

I don’t care if it sounds harsh.

I hate him.

Not all the time. Not always out loud. But deep down, in those quiet, honest moments—I feel it.

He hurt me.

He made me doubt myself.

He made me question what love is supposed to feel like.

And now I’m left carrying the pain, while he walks away untouched.

 

The Weight of Betrayal

Hate doesn’t always come from spite. Sometimes it’s what grows when love is abused, when trust is broken, when your softest parts are used against you.

Sometimes, hate is what’s left when you’ve given someone every chance to treat you better—and they chose not to.

It’s not petty.

It’s not immature.

It’s a reaction to being deeply hurt by someone who should have cared.

 

The Truth About Anger

As a therapist, I want to say this clearly:

Your anger is valid.

Anger is a natural, healthy response to injustice.

It’s your body and soul recognizing you were wronged.

You are allowed to feel it.

You are allowed to sit with it.

You are allowed to not rush into forgiveness.

There is no healing in pretending to be okay.

 

But I Don’t Want to Stay Here

Hating him might feel like power right now—and maybe it is.

Maybe it’s the first time you’ve felt anything close to control after being manipulated, silenced, or betrayed.

But I also know this: staying in hate too long starts to poison you.

Not because your feelings are wrong, but because hate takes energy. Energy that could one day be spent on healing, on peace, on rebuilding what was broken in you.

So don’t rush your way out of it. But also, don’t build a home in it.

 

What Hate Might Really Be Saying

Underneath the hate, there’s usually grief:

• “You should have protected me.”

• “You made me feel worthless.”

• “You left me to pick up the pieces you shattered.”

Anger is grief with armor on.

And if you can safely take the armor off, even just for a moment, you might hear what your heart really needs.

 

You Don’t Owe Him Forgiveness—But You Owe Yourself Freedom

You don’t have to forgive him if you’re not ready.

You don’t have to wish him well.

You don’t have to sugarcoat your experience.

But you do deserve a life where he doesn’t take up space in your mind, your body, your nervous system.

You deserve to be free.

And that starts by honoring the hate… and letting it lead you back to the you that he tried to dim.

You are not too much. You are not overreacting. You are not alone.

Hate may be part of your healing—but it doesn’t have to be the end of your story.