If you’ve ever wondered why race continues to be such a persistent and sometimes painful topic in society, you’re not alone. As a therapist, I hear this question often—sometimes from clients, sometimes from colleagues. So why is race still such a big deal, and why can’t we “just get over it”?
1. Race Is More Than Skin Deep
Race isn’t just about the color of our skin—it’s tied to culture, history, identity, and lived experience. For many people, race shapes their everyday reality, from how they are treated in public spaces to their access to opportunities and resources. Because race is deeply tied to personal identity, it’s not something people can easily “get over.”
2. Historical and Systemic Roots Run Deep
The legacy of slavery, segregation, colonization, and systemic discrimination didn’t just disappear. These histories have created ongoing social, economic, and political inequalities that affect communities today. When we say “get over race,” it can feel like ignoring or erasing this painful legacy and its continuing impact.
3. Race Shapes Our Experience of the World
Whether or not we want it to, race influences how we move through the world, how others see us, and how we see ourselves. People experience privilege and prejudice daily based on race, which can cause ongoing trauma, stress, and alienation—experiences that are very real and hard to just “move past.”
4. Denying Race Can Stall Healing and Growth
Trying to ignore or minimize race-related issues can actually prevent us from addressing the root causes of conflict and pain. Avoidance doesn’t create understanding; it often allows biases and misunderstandings to fester beneath the surface.
5. Conversations About Race Are Essential for Connection
Engaging in honest and sometimes uncomfortable conversations about race helps build empathy, trust, and deeper connection across differences. These discussions are a key part of personal and societal healing.
In Conclusion
“Getting over race” sounds simple, but it overlooks how race is deeply woven into our identities and systems. Instead of avoiding the topic, we can choose to engage with curiosity and compassion—both for others and ourselves.
If you’re navigating feelings about race or want a safe space to explore these questions, therapy can be a powerful place to start.
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