Ah, modern dating.
A magical place where your thumb gets more exercise than your heart. Where “Hey” is apparently a personality. And where ghosting has become more common than texting back.
If you’re burnt out, disillusioned, or starting to consider adopting a dog instead of trying Hinge one more time… you are not alone. As a therapist, I’ve heard it all—and as a human being, I get it.
Let’s take a humorous (but helpful!) look at the mental health side of dating apps.
1. Swiping Fatigue Is a Real Thing
Sure, it started out fun—like a game, right? Swipe left. Swipe right. Ooh, a match!
But now? You’re swiping with the emotional enthusiasm of someone scrolling through a terms-of-service agreement.
Therapist Tip:
Swiping triggers dopamine, which can become addictive. If you’re feeling numb or overstimulated, take a break. Your future partner can wait a week.
2. Ghosting Is Not Your Fault (Even If It Feels Like It)
You had a great chat. You made each other laugh. You even moved to texting. And then… radio silence. Did they die? Were they abducted by aliens? Did they spontaneously combust?
Nope. They just ghosted. And it’s not a reflection of your worth—it’s a reflection of their communication skills (or lack thereof).
Therapist Tip:
Ghosting activates attachment wounds and rejection sensitivity. It hurts. Vent to a friend, journal it out, or bring it into session. But don’t let it write your story.
3. “Hey” Is Not an Opening Line
If you’ve ever received a message that simply says “Hey,” please know you deserve better. You deserve “Hello, fellow emotionally intelligent human, what’s your favorite childhood coping mechanism?”
Okay, maybe that’s a lot—but still. Raise the bar.
Therapist Tip:
Notice your patterns. Are you matching with the same type of person over and over? Swipe with intention, not desperation. You can spot red flags before the third date.
4. It’s Okay to Feel Exhausted or Cynical
Online dating can start to feel like a second job, except with fewer benefits and more existential dread. The emotional labor is real—and the apps aren’t designed for your mental well-being.
Therapist Tip:
If dating feels like a full-time job and you’re not even enjoying the coffee, take a pause. Go analog. Focus on friendships, hobbies, or just being for a while. Your nervous system will thank you.
5. You’re Still Allowed to Want Love (Even After All This)
It’s easy to pretend you don’t care. It’s even easier to tell yourself, “I’m better off alone.” And maybe you are right now. But wanting connection isn’t a weakness. It’s beautifully human.
Therapist Tip:
You’re not too much. You’re not too picky. You’re a person with needs, standards, and a beating heart. Don’t give up—just give yourself a little compassion along the way.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Crazy, Dating Is
If dating apps are making you question your sanity, don’t worry—your reaction is actually pretty healthy. It’s okay to laugh at the chaos, take a break when needed, and remember that you’re not the problem. You’re just trying to find something real in a system designed for short attention spans and thumb cramps.
Need a place to process your dating drama without being judged?
Therapy can help you unpack patterns, heal from rejection, and reconnect with what you want from love. No “Hey” messages, I promise.
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