So, there I was, hiding in the pantry eating cookies I told my kid we “ran out of,” when it hit me:
Mom guilt.
Not just a twinge. Not a light sprinkle. I’m talking full-blown, soul-crushing, “Wow, I’m probably ruining them” guilt.
Because apparently, I should have:
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Packed a Pinterest-level lunch.
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Been 100% emotionally present.
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Said “no” to screen time.
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Said “yes” to crafts.
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And enjoyed every single minute of it.
Spoiler: I didn’t. And you know what? That guilt showed up anyway.
What Even Is Mom Guilt?
It’s the emotional version of that annoying friend who shows up uninvited and criticizes your parenting while offering zero help.
Mom guilt says:
“You yelled too much today.”
“You didn’t play enough today.”
“You let them eat a microwave burrito and called it dinner.”
Mom guilt never says:
“Wow, you kept everyone alive and no one ate Play-Doh. Amazing work!”
Because apparently, surviving isn’t enough—we’re supposed to thrive, glow, and pack bento boxes shaped like animals. With matching notes. In cursive.
When Does It Show Up?
Mom guilt is available 24/7. Some popular times include:
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Right after bedtime (when you finally relax and remember all the things you didn’t do).
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When another mom mentions her kid eats kale.
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At Target, when your toddler is melting down in front of the lady with perfectly brushed children.
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During school drop-off, when your kid is wearing two different socks and holding a lunchable you threw in the bag.
Basically: if you’re a mom, it’s always showtime.
Where Does It Come From?
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Society. (Thanks!)
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Instagram. (Thanks more!)
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That inner voice that sounds suspiciously like your own mother.
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And the fact that we love these tiny humans so much we’d wrestle a bear for them—but still feel like it’s not enough when we forget it’s “dress like a colonial settler day” at school.
How to Deal With Mom Guilt (Besides Cry-Laughing in the Bathroom)
1. Lower the Bar (Like, Way Lower)
If everyone is fed and mostly clean, you’re doing amazing.
Bonus points if no one licked an outlet today.
2. Phone a Friend (Preferably One Who Also Thinks We’re All Faking It)
Find your people—the ones who say, “Same, girl,” not “Have you tried adding chia seeds to their pancakes?”
3. Remember: You Are Not a Pinterest Board
Real life doesn’t have filters. There are no “likes” for reheating spaghetti. But that still counts as love.
4. Laugh at the Chaos
Because if you don’t laugh when your kid wipes snot on your shirt and yells “YOU’RE THE WORST!” for asking them to put on pants… you’ll cry. Probably into your cold coffee.
Final Thought From a Hot-Mess, High-Achieving, Overthinking, Cookie-Hoarding Mom
Here’s the thing:
If you feel guilty, it’s probably because you care.
And that means—you’re already a great mom.
(Also, you’re hilarious. And doing your best. Which is more than enough.)
So next time mom guilt tries to crash your day, just say:
“Not now. I’m too busy being a perfectly imperfect legend.”
And then go eat those secret cookies in peace.
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