Gaslighting: How to Know You’re Not Crazy

You’re second-guessing everything.

Your memory.

Your feelings.

Your reality.

You ask yourself, “Did I overreact?” or “Maybe I misunderstood…”

But deep down, something feels off.

You just can’t put your finger on it.

That confusion, that self-doubt, that slow erosion of your trust in yourself—that’s gaslighting.

And it’s not your fault.

 

What Is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation where someone makes you question your perception, memory, or sanity.

It’s not a disagreement.

It’s not a miscommunication.

It’s intentional distortion of reality—to make you easier to control.

Whether it’s subtle or overt, the goal is the same:

To make you seem like the problem, so they can avoid accountability.

 

Common Phrases Gaslighters Use:

• “You’re too sensitive.”

• “I never said that.”

• “You’re imagining things.”

• “Stop making everything about you.”

• “You’re crazy.”

What’s dangerous about gaslighting is that it doesn’t usually happen all at once. It happens gradually, over time.

And the more it happens, the more disconnected you become from your own instincts.

 

What Gaslighting Feels Like:

• Constantly apologizing, even when you’re not sure why

• Feeling like you can never get the story straight

• Thinking everything is your fault

• Losing confidence in your decisions

• Feeling like you’re “too emotional” or “too dramatic”

If that sounds familiar, know this: you’re not broken. You’ve been manipulated.

 

Why People Gaslight

Gaslighting is a tactic often used by narcissists, abusers, or anyone who fears being exposed, held accountable, or seen for who they really are.

They gaslight to:

• Maintain control

• Avoid consequences

• Re-write reality to protect their ego

They may even believe their own lies. But that doesn’t make it any less harmful.

 

You’re Not Crazy. You’re Being Conditioned.

Gaslighting is designed to make you dependent.

It chips away at your ability to trust yourself—so you look to them for answers, for truth, for validation.

That’s not love. That’s control.

 

How to Reclaim Your Truth

1. Document things.
   Write down what was said, how it made you feel. Patterns matter.

2. Name it.
   Once you can identify gaslighting, it becomes harder for it to continue silently.

3. Talk to someone you trust.
   Safe friends, a therapist, or a support group can help you reconnect with reality.

4. Stop arguing with someone committed to misunderstanding you.
   Gaslighters don’t want clarity. They want control.

5. Set boundaries—even if that means distance.
   Protecting your peace is more important than explaining yourself to someone who thrives on your confusion.

 

You Deserve to Trust Yourself Again

Gaslighting can leave deep emotional bruises. But healing is possible.

You can learn to listen to your gut again.

You can rebuild your sense of self.

You can stop shrinking to make someone else comfortable.

Your reality is real. Your feelings are valid. Your clarity is coming back.

And anyone who makes you feel otherwise isn’t someone who deserves access to your inner world.